floopowderchristmastroy:

the teared up. face. doesn’t. it doesn’t… get to… it doesn’t get to me… I. I. 

You killed. I, THIS ISN’T GOING TO WORK ON ME. no. BUT. You killed so many people. This won’t. 

NO BABY I’M SO SORRY. YOU WERE JUST DAMAGED. IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE CHITAURI DID TO YOU BUT YES, YOU WERE JUST A CHILD YOU WERE AFRAID AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WANTED IT, BUT I KNOW YOU WERE JUST ACTING ON YOUR JEALOUSIES AND HATRED THAT SPROUTED FROM THE BETRAYALS. I KNOW YOU LOOKED BACK MANY TIMES AND QUESTIONED EVERYTHING BUT IT WAS TOO LATE. I KNOW. I KNOW. BABY I’M SO SORRY. 

SO PLEASE STOP DOING THIS THING THAT YOU DO WITH YOUR FACE WHERE IT GETS ALL RED AROUND YOUR EYES AND EYEBROWS AND EVEN AROUND YOUR LIPS AND THAT SEXY THING YOU DO WITH YOUR ADAMS APPLE.

(via tom-sits-like-a-whore)

letterstogodptiii:

tea-books-and-blankets:

yaygocats:

discomplete:

“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography

“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.

“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy 

“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book

(via gods-nipples)

toxicrants:

Don’t say you’ll ‘treat a girl like a princess’ unless you’re prepared to follow up on that shit. 

If I’m not living in a castle by the sea with diplomatic powers over a small country then you’re a bitch-ass liar.

(via 1967-chevorlet-impala)

jensennaackless:

1.01 Pilot

(via 1967-chevorlet-impala)

peanutbutta:

It either takes me 5 months to read a book or I read five of them in 2 days. There is no inbetween.

(via madman-with-a-snog-box)

leftforbed:

leftforbed:

mcsnuggie:

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

why would the movie eat my popcorn

nevermind i get it

(via paging-doctorfaggot)

hoaran:

btw at dinner tn my mom said harry styles looks like a monkey and my brother looked her in the eyes and said “these meatballs are shitty and youre fucking rude” 

(via thelaughingmango)

toramorigan: daksinakke: funfrom4chan: So my cat likes unpacking.. thats the happiest fucking cat ive ever seen Aww yiss. Mother. Fucking. Air Pacs.

toramorigan:

daksinakke:

funfrom4chan:

So my cat likes unpacking..

thats the happiest fucking cat ive ever seen

Aww yiss.

Mother.

Fucking.

Air Pacs.

(via madman-with-a-snog-box)

theneverendingdrums:

wimpala:

theneverendingdrums:

theneverendingdrums:

theneverendingdrums:

i want pizza but im broke what if i just walked into a shop and stole a 12 inch pizza and ran away do u think id get away with it

update: i got away with it

omg no dont reblog this post what if the police find me

hello yes police there’s someone on the internet who stole a pizza and got away with it

r u trying 2 get me put in jail u asshole

(Source: theladyserket, via madman-with-a-snog-box)

  • Doctor Who fandom: WE ALL SHOULD EAT FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD, SOUFFLÉS, AND JAMMY DODGERS JUST LIKE ON THE SHOW!
  • Supernatural fandom: Pie and whiskey over here!
  • Sherlock fandom: Just tea for me thanks.
  • Hannibal fandom: ..................wat

animeaves:

dannybrony:

This is the most revealing adult humor joke about masturbation you may find on a Nickelodeon show like Fairly Odd Parents.

When I first saw heard this I couldn’t stop laughing.

I DIDN’T KNOW AWHBFSOCNHJABDOFUHJAESDNZIXJKHIWBAEUHSDJF

(via gallifreyanassbutts)

#it’s been ten years #but i’ll be damned if any of you say this isn’t the most swagtastic entrance #that you have ever seen #in your goddamn life

(via madman-with-a-snog-box)

incurable-insomnia:

Jared Padalecki is too big to fit into the TARDIS.

(via gallifreyanassbutts)

(Source: 499kb, via paging-doctorfaggot)

riannafinch: HAY GURL

riannafinch:

HAY GURL

(Source: earth-song, via heyheyits-taytay)